Saturday, October 30, 2004

That's Called "Karma"

Unless you live in a cave, you have probably heard that Bill O'Reilly, the Fox News talkshow host who claims to be nonpartisan, claims to be looking out for you, and claims that his show is a no spin zone, has been sued for sexual harassment.

This wouldn't be so delicious if O'Reilly wasn't a pompous, conservative windbag whose claims to political neutrality and the moral high ground weren't as grandiose as they are false.

Big Bookstore is displaying his new book, The O'Reilly Factor for Kids, front and center. It occupies prime real estate on the front of the Information Desk. And it is faced out in the Parenting section. Lest you think that the booksellers at my store are indulging in a little bit of irony, I should tell you that the the books which are displayed on the front of the Info Desk, along with those displayed on most of the prime "front of store" display space, are determined by Big Bookstore Corporate headquarters. Yes, The O'Reilly Factor for Kids will remain in this front and center location staring brazenly out at every customer who approaches to ask for information, despite the fact that the author is currently embroiled in a sex scandal the tawdriness of which is exceeded only by its banality.

In this new book, Bill dispenses advice to teens on everything from Clothes, Money, and School, to Bullies, Sex, and Work. He advises kids to stand up to bullies and not to bully others. He advises kids to wait for sincere and loving sex. And he tells kids how much he loves his job.

Although you might expect it from the allegations in the last three links, The O'Reilly Factor for Kids does not contain any advice on phone sex, cheating on your spouse, or using Middle Eastern foods as sex toys.

Let it NOT be said that O'Reilly's book does not contain some sound advice. This is my favorite line from the chapter on sex:

"And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called 'karma.'"


Blogger meateater said...

I have been waiting for this blog for some time now. Ever since I heard the news about the sexual harrasment suit. It is about time.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Elmira G. said...

After checking out the link to Smoking Gun, I just had to read the charges to my sister who then forwarded it on to another sister and all like-minded friends. Just eading the charges is a form of being sexually harassed by Bill O'Reilly. Do you think I can file charges?

2:41 PM  
Blogger ereshkigal said...

Hahahahaha. You could give it a whirl. Bill is in a settling mood these days. I agree with you that thoughts of being rubbed up and down by Bill O'Reilly with a falafel would give anyone the complete and utter wiggins. I may not be able to eat Middle Eastern food EVER AGAIN.

2:47 PM  

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