Sunday, January 16, 2005

It's Big BookSTORE

Customer Unclear on the Concept: I have a question.

Disgruntled Bookseller: How can I help you, sir?

Customer Unclear on the Concept: Can I take this book home, read it, and then bring it back?

DB: [blank stare followed by dead silence]

Customer Unclear on the Concept: What I mean is, can I borrow the book?

DB: Oh, I understood the question, sir. You can buy the book and take it home and read it to your heart's content. But no. We don't lend books.

Customer Unclear on the Concept: OK. So I have to buy it?

DB: Yes, sir.

Customer Unclear on the Concept: OK, then. Never mind.


Blogger MarkFarley said...

A favourite here in London is the returns policy or the cutomers abuse of it and our good nature.
They know that we cannot say no to them when they have kept a receipt. Its so obvious when someone brings a book back and the have clearly read it, decided they didnt want to keep it and exchange it for another.
Isnt that what a library is for?

Or i got in the other day (I kid you not)

'Excuse me, I bought this the other day and I realised when I got home, I already have it...'

Cue dead silence.

But my all time favourite is when we get the holiday makers start returning their travel guides in September all tanned and fresh faced, a clear two weeks from original purchase. The reason for return, Madam?

'The book wasnt what I thought it was.'

Cue blank stare.

5:34 AM  
Blogger ereshkigal said...

I get the "can I borrow" question at least once every other month or so. To be fair, the questions always come from people who speak English as a second language - so I assume they are from places where there are no large bookstores, and so they may truly be unclear on the concept. Still.

As for returns, that's a whole 'nother rant, for another day. (It's on my list of things to blog about.)

4:21 PM  
Blogger Elmira G. said...

I have to say that the bookstore/library confusion was new to me when I started at Big Bookstore many years ago. I'm a bit of a bookstore whore and had never found it necessary in any of those previous stores to explain to a customer the difference between a library and a bookstore prior to siging on at Big bookstore. The first time it happened I was copletely bafffled.

***To clarify the bookstore whore thing,all my previous employment concerned the selling of books. I count my current position as my only real time of actual whoring for books.

12:21 AM  
Blogger ereshkigal said...

Perhaps you should use the slut/whore distinction in the future, Elmira. A bookstore slut will spread her legs for free for any hot, strapping, young bookstore. A bookstore whore, of course, requires payment.

4:12 AM  
Blogger mimi said...

I had a good one the other day. I had just handed a young man the paperback of "The Prince".

ym: What do I do now?

mimi: You go to the registar, pay for it, take it home and read it, then revel in your new understanding of the nuances of power.

ym: I have to buy it?

mimi: Yes, unless you are planning on stealing it.

YM: How much does it cost?

mimi motioning to hand the book over: $3.99. Are you getting it?

ym: I don't have any money on me.

mimi: Oh.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Skip, The Middleman said...

Have you ever read George Orwell's recollections of working in a bookstore? He says he was surprised at the number of people who order stacks of books but have no intention of buying them when they come in.

11:37 AM  
Blogger MarkFarley said...

Have you guys got that childrens book with the hole? I have wrote about it on my blog.

My site aswell is:

9:30 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home